The post where I overcome a phobia and manage not to vomit into a fish tank

Well, it’s been no secret to those who are Facebook friends or follow me on Twitter, but the last few weeks have been very rubbish. At the end of a string of negatives we were broken into and I guess it’s the aftermath, the tiny niggles and the ‘not feeling safe’ anymore that particularly affected Littlest and I. A break away from it all was needed to help us sleep better and laugh a lot more.

Last Friday we went for a relaxing 4 day break to Whinfell Forest Center Parcs. Did I say ‘relaxing’? I swear I am so stiff and my bottom aches so much (from cycling!) that I am honestly considering installing a Stannah Stairlift in our house. Center Parcs, quite simply, offers the ultimate family outdoors holiday experience for children of all ages and mine had an amazing time. I don’t think I’ve laughed quite so much with them ever.

We’d visited Center Parcs before, the last time when Littlest was possibly 4, but this experience was the best we’ve had. I honestly think this was to do with the children’s ages - 7, 11 and 13 - and the fact that they could all swim and ride bikes. The boys loved having the freedom of the Village, to cycle and explore and Littlest loved the ‘back garden’ where she went nature spotting with G. We tried a whole range of new experiences, both as a family and individually and I loved that my children amazed me with their confidence and courage to try the unknown (more about them in another post).

But, and I know this will AMAZE some of you, one of the highlights of the weekend was that (I feel there should be a drum roll here, so do use your imagination)… I think I might have conquered my PHOBIA OF TOUCHING FISH!

Now, this fear has bizarre roots and is much ridiculed amongst my circle of friends, but the truth is that I can’t stand people touching fish. Seriously, it makes me gag and has been known to induce vomit. So, with that in mind, it may surprise some of you to know that I LET FISH SUCK MY FEET (and, yes, I do feel that uppercase is necessary!).

You’ve probably all heard of the fish pedicure treatments, they seem to have popped up in shopping centres all over the UK. I’ve been interested (from a distance) so when faced with several amazing choices of treatments at Aqua Sana, I absolutely shocked myself when I signed up for a Fish Spa Pedicure.

Aqua Sana was so very different from the rest of the Village. It was quiet and the guests were all white robed and sweaty. For some people days spent in the utterly luxurious spa, having treatments and unwinding was their experience of Center Parcs. There are no children running about, no bike bells trilling and no one shouting ‘MUM!’ at the top of their voices. It was a bit of a shock to the system.

After having my feet cleaned I was asked to sit and put my feet into a tank full of Garra Rufa fish. I was told that it would feel like bubbles, that the fish didn’t have teeth and rather that their suction-shaped mouths would suck away any dead skin (cue me trying not to vomit!).

I feel that I must be honest and say that it so didn’t feel like bubbles and it really did feel like fish sucking my feet, in between my toes and my ankles. It was possibly the freakiest feeling ever, but not in a bad way. I did feel a bit on display as people walked past and gazed into the tank of dead-skin eating fish. Some people were happy to express their disgust, others pointed and giggled.

But perhaps most importantly was that that 20 minutes forced me to think about everything that’s been happening recently and about how negative I’ve become. It’s almost felt like there’s been a black fog there again and that feeling of ‘never being good enough’ has been suffocating. I’ve been anticipating negatives, rejections and disappointment without celebrating the little achievements and positives.

Those 20 minutes of me dealing with me in the tranquility of Aqua Sana, combined with the whole experience of Center Parcs (wait till I tell you about the goals I scored in children’s hockey!), has left me feeling focused and ready to carry on taking small steps to finding me.

And the results of the Garra Rufa fish pedicure? Well I had very dry skin on my heels and I can feel a definite difference now. At only £20.00 for a 20 minute session, it is a veritable bargain.

I can’t help but now hope that I might somehow and magically become a mermaid…