Did I mention that I got a certificate for my hockey skills?

We made the decision before going to Center Parcs to make our stay as packed out as possible. I honestly don’t think that we could have squeezed anything else in (and although it might not appear it at first, this post is really an excuse to tell you about my absolute skill at children’s hockey).

Eldest went on a Quad Bike Safari (and particularly liked that he crashed and has a tiny scratch to prove it), Littlest tried Climbing Skills, we spent hours being dragged around rapids and going down flumes, and I took the children rollerskating. Clearly the rollerskating was more fun for me, as I whizzed around and the children stumbled and fell. I perhaps should have helped them a little more but there is nothing like feeling the gentle breeze in your hair as you rollerskate around (and past your children lying sprawled on their backs) to dodgy 1980s music. Bliss!

As a family we took part in Lasar Combat in the woods. Laser Combat should be a bit rubbish, after all it’s just big boys playing war in the mud, right? Well, no! Actually it’s far more fun than it has any right being! The basis of the game is pretty simple. You have these space age gun things that fire an invisible laser at sensors on your enemy’s helmet (these looked a bit like Dalek eyes, but that may just be me). And that’s it, but the fun comes in the games. You are split into two teams and assemble on either side of the battlefield (a big bit of woods with loads of wooden barriers and bunkers) and slug it out.

My main worry was that it would be too much for the Littlest (7), but I couldn’t have been more wrong. The ref made it clear from the start that it was for all ages and we would take it easy until the little ones were up to speed. As it turned out Littlest and a little pal she made (also 7) were rather good and in the last game were two of only a handful of ‘survivors’. Their small size meant they fitted perfectly behind the barriers where they could happily shoot away, safe from all this nasty adult laser shots. All in all, laser tag was good simple fun, and yes it is ‘big boys playing war,’ but in a super-high-tech-good-old-fashioned cowboys and Indians way.

The Halk Walk was another amazing activity. It very much was what it said in the title - you took a hawk for a walk. The hawk lady turned up with a Harris Hawk on her wrist (real name Bob for all you biologists) and proceeded to walk around the village. The hawk was set free and every few yards a member of the group was given a glove and the hawk was tempted to swoop in and land on the glove to gobble up a bit of raw chicken. Once you got over the magnificence of the bird, watching it swoop and fly, the walk turned in a very enjoyable stroll. The hawk lady chatted and answered questions and we all got to have the hawk land on our wrists.

But my favourite activity was Middlest’s choice which was Junior Olympics (which was also one of the cheapest activities). It was organized by two young men (Ric and Paul), who spent 2 hours being consistently enthusiastic and patient with a group of children, putting them through a series of competitive Olympic style activities. I’d volunteered to sit watching with Eldest while G and Littlest were off doing another activity. I had stupidly thought that I’d be able to drink a Starbucks and take a couple of hours to unwind, but clearly the gods were laughing!

A couple of the kids had to go on to another activity and Ric asked if Eldest and I would join in a game of hockey. Now, if you know me well, then you’ll know that I run a bit like Phoebe from Friends (or a penguin, if you are not familiar with Phoebe from Friends!) and my instinct was to say no, but I somehow said yes. So, Sunday morning saw me playing hockey with a bunch of 8-13year olds and I can honestly say that I had a scream.

It goes without saying that I was utterly fabulous, in fact, I’m not one to boast BUT I scored the goal that ensured that our children’s hockey team won. And you can imagine my absolute delight when I was awarded a certificate (see photogragh). I don’t think I’ve ever felt prouder of myself.

Now, if the 2012 Olympic hockey team happens to be reading this blog post and happens to be short of a player, I am of course available.