Over the last 2 years I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been told that I need to toughen up. I’ve written books, I’m accessible online and the reality is that I really wind some people up (and not in a good way). It’s life, I’m Marmite. For whatever reason, I’m not liked by everyone (shock horror, I know!) but, more importantly, neither is my writing.
Like all playgrounds, you get some people who are more vocal than others and over the last couple of years some have enjoyed expressing their hatred of my books (and me) wherever they can. I’ve lost count of the blog posts and negative reviews about my books (but I always read them each, several times, and they always sting), just as I’ve lost count of the positive ones too.
My personal choice is not to criticise any book I ‘couldn’t get on with’ online and I would never (not ever) write a negative review ‘just because’ I didn’t like the author. I think this is because I genuinely understand the toil, pain and devotion that it takes to write a book and then just how difficult it is to get a publishing deal these days. If I don’t like a book, then I’ll simply not review it. (Hats off to any of us normal folk who manage to get published!)
But I guess what I’ve really learned is that if you write books that are likely to cause reaction (I’m thinking about some of the topics I included in Black Boxes and In Search of Adam), well when those reactions come it’s all about how you deal with the positive and with the negative.
Here’s my take on how to cope with negative reviews:
1. Some people write negative reviews because they have issues with the author.
This for me is the worst type of negative review. The words are full of spite and will not focus on criticising the content of the book. The review is full of sweeping statements and nastiness. It should be ignored, full stop.
2. You can’t ever expect to get all 5 star reviews.
It’s a simple fact, not everyone is going to love your book and it’s right that they don’t. I’d view any all 5 star reviews on Amazon suspiciously (as I would all 1 star reviews).
3. Causing reaction, even if negative, is sometimes good.
The last thing any writer really wants is for someone to read their book and then forget about it forever. Being a bit ‘blah’ isn’t ideal. If someone rips up your book or throws it in the bin, be proud. Causing a reaction should be viewed as a positive (clearly, I am Pollyanna!).
4. People have a right to their opinions and to their personal tastes.
You might not agree, you might want to stamp your feet and cry and email the reviewer and give detailed feedback explaining why their opinions aren’t valid, but you NEVER should. A well written review, that explains judgment, reaction and critiques fairly should be accepted graciously. Stamp your feet in private and then listen to the review.
And, for the sake of balance and because it inspired me to write this post today, when someone I respect says something very lovely about my writing, it makes me feel excited and honoured.
Sometimes this writing game is like a crazy dance that no one quite knows how to explain. You step forward, backwards and often sideways. I guess that one day the dance will stop.
{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
I like the playground analogy. The last line of your post is true but it still made me feel sad.
Way to go Caroline. THAT’S exactly the right approach. I think most people who post negative reviews on Amazon do so out of spite and envy. So take no notice is the best thing to do. And I am in your camp, rather then diss another author I’d prefer to say nothing, just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean it isn’t valid, this game is very subjective after all. And as someone who HAS had her book ripped up, I did feel quite awed that something I thought was relatively inoffensive caused such fury! Awed and rather proud (-: And it made me laugh. So negative doesn’t always have to = having bad feelings!
Very well put. I’m bookmarking this… x
How true!
Blimey, that last line made me *gulp* - hit a nerve there, Caroline. I think this is a great post. I’m bookmarking it - I know I’m going to need to read it again…and again.
E.
You continue to grow
I review every book I read, whether I enjoy it or not, and I think it is very important that I do so.
Authors should not be offended if they receive a negative review, as we all like different things. As long as the review isn’t a personal attack then I think it is valid. I often sell books via my affiliate links, for books which I haven’t enjoyed. I think people are able to read my reasons for disliking a book and make their own mind up.
I also get frustrated when I write a negative review and then have several people all chime in to say that they disliked it too. These people had all read the book, but then decided not to reviewit. If they had taken the time to do so then the views online would have been more balanced, and although I may still have decided to read it, my expectations would have been lowered. Instead of expecting the amazing book for which I had seen nothing but raving praise I would have a more realistic approach.
I’m sorry that authors take it all so personally - we can’t all like the same books and honest reviews help people to decide which of the thousands of new books they should decide to read.
DJ Kirkby - it is a bit sad, alas
Julia Williams - this game is so subjective and you, young lady, are playign it rather well!
Gemma - thank you!
Joyce - thank you!
Emily - thank you! I think that those who write will understand my logic, hopefully.
trousers - scary, isn’t it?
Jackie (Farm Lane Books) - Thanks so much for your comment! I think it’s very natural for an author to take a review personally, after all the book is part of them, it has grown, developed and been ‘given birth’ to over a vast length of time. The feeling offended and taking the negative personally comes from the attachment, just as we have to other aspects of ourselves. But, what I am trying to say is that there is such a difference between a well-balanced and intelligent review and one that is a personal attack on the author/book. And, yes, exactly, an intelligent and negative review often makes me more curious about a book - so I do understand what you’re saying. I’m glad that we don’t all like the same books - the world would be a little bit duller if we, as authors, had to all ‘write by numbers’.
xxx
Lovely Caroline,
This is very good timing. I got my first ‘bad’ review this week on amazon.com. Actually, it was my first ever review, and it was a 5 star review… but the reviewer said my book wasn’t suitable for exactly the bunch of students it’s aimed at. *sigh*
They just didn’t understand. And I have written a nice, polite response explaining why my book *is* for the people he says it isn’t for… in fact, it’s for exactly them. And hopefully amazon.com will publish my response but I don’t think I will ever, quite, get over the fact that my very first review was the equivalent of “great cake! but don’t eat it…”.
I hope that geometry books are dull enough that I’m unlikely to attract the kind of badly written, bile filled personal attacks that I have read - hand over mouth - people write about your books.
There are a lot of things in life that I don’t particularly like. For example: Spam, tinned carrots, shiny clothes that catch in your finger nails, toes (generally) and cheap docu-reality-TVshows. I don’t feel the need to rant about these things, or send what amounts to hate mail to the people who make spam and the shops who sell it.
The world does not need protecting against your books (or spam), even if some people won’t find them to be to their taste. Anyone who actually wants to spend their time writing such passionately negative comment for the sole purpose of reducing the good things in someone else’s life is obviously lacking in useful, enjoyable ways to spend their time.
Isn’t part of the joy of reading / watching films / listening to music the fact that some stuff touches you in ways that other stuff doesn’t? I’m preaching to the choir here…
Thanks for this post.
I meant spam in the pink tinned meat sense, but the other kind is annoying too, and the world does need protecting against that, just not the pink tinned meat kind. Thankyouverymuch.
When I first started writing, thankful I had a few friends that had been published. One of the first things they said to me, is you’re going to grow a thick skin. The next was no matter what the reviews are, keep writing.
I approach it the same way I would in life, you can’t please everyone. Like you I tend to rub people the wrong way until they get to know me.
This was a great post. (Hugs)Indigo
I am always very aware when I review a book and the author is alive that a real human with feelings might read it. Nontheless I wouldn’t fail to post a negative review if I thought a book deserved it especially if it was a “big” author from a “big” publishing house who has people around them to protect them and probably should know better! Sycophantic reviewing is one of the reasons why some well known writers never do anything particularly good after their first novel or two. With less established authors from smaller publishers I am much more circumspect. I would also never post negative comments on Amazon, anything like that should go on my own site where poeple know exactly who wrote it and where to find me!
In a reverse of the author being upset by the negative review I had the odd experience of having reviewed a book positively and people objecting to that by email and asking me to remove the postitive review so it no longer polluted the internet whilst also questioning my reading skills and level of education. The book in question was Twilight. I replied politely and left the review just where it was!
Brilliant, sensible and honest post, Caroline and I couldn’t agree more.
What I would say is that knowing some people are giving you snotty reviews because of what they think of you as a person means that what they’re saying is no reflection of your work - which is a positive thing. I’m not excusing bullying (because, let’s face it, that’s what it is) but I think it is important to see people’s motives and put their actions into some kind of context.
I’m in the same camp as you when it comes to not mentioning books I’ve not enjoyed - I usually I don’t finish them cos I’d rather be spending time reading something I like. But I guess that balanced reviews, positive or negative, are important - especially from a reviewer one trusts and, as Jackie’s said, so long as what they’re saying is valid and not nasty.
But getting a negative review does hurt (God knows I know!). There’s no escaping that. And I wonder if being hurt by a bad one shows how much you care and believe in what you’ve put out there.
Err, and that’s what I think about that.
Waffle, burble, waffle.
Nik
I think you’re lovely.
I think there’s always a place for well-considered reviews that respect an author’s efforts but discuss what the reviewer perceives as issues with the book. But you’re so right in that when it comes to criticism, it’s important to consider the source, and not take badly-spelled Amazon kickings in any way seriously.
When you are facing critcism as a writer and feeling down about it, it is helpful to remember the encouraging words of writers (and readers) you respect - you should keep them close to you always. xx
Thanks for posting this, I’ve read and taken note of it having just signed with a publishers this week.
Btw, I’ve enjoyed listening to you on WriteLines which was timed brilliantly for me.
With best wishes,
Chris
Tough topic. I don’t like people not liking me or my writing but at the same time I occassionally like to pick fights and be controversial. (I know makes no sense)
As for writers I don’t like personally- I write nothing about them. I try never to mention them at all for fear my bias will come through.
Stray - ouch that your very first review was the equivalent of “great cake! but don’t eat it…”! And I hope that no one ever gives you a bile filled review… otherwise I will so kick their arses! Thank you for such a very lovely comment.
Stray - I didn’t think of the other spam, only slimey meat spam.
Indigo - there is no other way but to keep writing!
Juxtabook - your awareness makes you very lovely! I would like to say I’m shocked by the reverse negative thing - but nothing in this online world shocks me
Nik Perring - the bullies can not harm me, me skin is like shield of steel!
JJ Beattie - you’re lovely too.
diane shipley - very wise words, young lady!
ChrisH - congratulations on your publishing deal! You must be utterly thrilled. I look forward to reading it
Lauri - “I try never to mention them at all for fear my bias will come through.” - I agree completely!
xxx
This is an interesting post. I’m a bit torn really. I go onto Amazon and sometimes see foul things written, but I do admit to once posting a review about a book that I thought had been over-hyped. It made me so mad, that I felt I had to say I’d wasted my money. I’ve never done it since, because of the thought of how I might feel if someone did the same to me (still dreaming that I will one day be published!)
However, since then I have been regularly reviewing books for a small newspaper called Peace News. I take it very seriously, always read the books I’m sent from cover to cover and I try to give a balanced view about what I read. But I think that it is important to be honest. I’ve been asked for my opinion, which may sway somebody to shell out for a copy. I have to weigh up my responsibility to the author, who I don’t want to crush or dismiss, with my responsibility to the prospective reader, who I don’t want to mislead. I am often very critical, because I think if someone wants you to buy their book, they should make it impossible to put down, but I do try and also provide some positive comments too. One or two have been so bad, I’ve said so, but the majority are somewhere in the middle. I have yet to be wowed, but maybe I’m a harsh critic!
And I do agree with the posters above about the literary pages. There is nothing worse than reading major author a puffing major author b, who puffs major author a the following week…
Ah, but you fall into my number 4 point. Regardless of whether or not the author would like to stamp his/her feet and cry, any reviewer who offers intelligent feedback and critique should be considered graciously. This reading and reviewing business is so subjective and negative reviews really do sting - but it sounds to me that you really do weigh up your responsibility before delivering reviews. I do the same, but in a different way, I simply have a policy of not putting any book on my blog that I have not enjoyed.
Yes, Caroline, you’re right! I was reading you in a hurry!
Hi Caroline,
I can only imagine how awful it must be to get a critical review, especially if you aren’t sure of the motives for the criticism.
I’ll never forget the first time I got a piece of work heavily criticised (at a writing class)…I took myself off to the toilets and had a silent 5 minute sob. Writing is such a private part of you, it is like someone openly criticising your personality, your beliefs or your background right there in front of a huge audience…..it just wouldn’t happen (unless you go on Question Time or something….).
And it hurts!
I am worried enough about my little story in the tonto anthology and what response it will get! However, I am kind of more worried that it won’t get any response at all. I definitely think someone having strong feelings is better than none at all.
To be honest I would never review books because I believe people love such vastly different books. I, for example, very rarely read crime fiction and it just doesn’t float my boat, but there are millions of others that love it and that is great! Also some of my favourite writers are not anywhere near being best sellers……..so obviously everyone else doesn’t agree with me that they are fab!
You just can’t always please everyone….if I ever get a book published I hope someone will remind me of this as I am already my own most critical reviewer!
I think you should get someone else to read the reviews and take out the ridiculous ones; the ones based on someone’s ill conceived perception of you rather than of the actual book you have slaved over….
Kelly
x
Hi Caroline
You are absolutely right when you say that anyone has the right to not like a book and therefore give a balanced and evidence-based negative review, however, what is totally inexcusable is the need to get nasty or personal. Caroline, anyone needing to do this is clearly not content with their lot. If they were, they wouldn’t be nasty - simple!
Take these as a compliment to add to your positive reviews and have quiet moments where you smile to yourself at the fact that there are people out there who feel threatened enough by your work that they have to resort to this type of tactic instead of doing the right thing and using the challenge to raise their own game.
Keep writing and keep smiling at the negative reviews.
The reviewers who spread nastiness and spite are saying more about themselves than you. Not everyone has to love your work, especially if your writing is thought provoking and shakes them out of their complacency, but a review should never be personal.
I’m of the view that if I can’t say something nice, I won’t say anything at all but it would have to be a very bad book indeed for me to not be able to find something positive. And you know you’ll always be Marmite to me, Caroline. I lurve Marmite!
Oh Lovely Caroline,
Don’t get discouraged by bad reviews. I’ve had tons of bad reviews for my novels and, though they sting like bee stings, and they hurt for a little while, they always seem to push me to keep writing.
And just when there is someone who doesn’t like my work, there will be three more who do, who get it. In the end, we write for ourselves, but we hope that others will love our work. But we have to love it first.
Sure, negative reviews hurt, but the bad must come to make the good even better.
Besides, I think your books are wonderful and amazing and lovely. Your words thrill me to no end and your writing is beautiful. Don’t let the negative nancies bother you too much.
After all, you’re lovely.
It is very hard not to feel upset by it. A play I took to Edinburgh had an absolutely vile review by a man I’d met in a bar, been nice to, and invited to see my play. He gave it 1 star and really, really trashed it. It tooka sausage sandwich from a musician I barely knew, and my pal Zoe, to haul me up off the floor. All this because it is hard doing something you love - only for someone to say they hate it - and also knowing in a way it’s your job and you care about doing it well: one consolation for me was that he felt so angered by what I’d written that I thought, ‘I least I made you feel and question these things.’ If you can’t love me, hate is better than apathy. You are incredibly talented and hardworking - no matter what a review may say, you’ll always have that, as long as you believe you have it.
(says me who crumbles about 5 times a day!)
Kelly Railton - ah, but don’t forget that I chose your story. It stood out and is fabulous
Thanks for your lovely comment Kelly!
Michael Bunting - thanks so much for your balanced and caring comment!
Tam - “I’m of the view that if I can’t say something nice, I won’t say anything at all” - me too! You are very lovely
Jamieson Wolf - ahhhh, that’s a lovely comment too! Mwah x
Maria Roberts - Exactly - “If you can’t love me, hate is better than apathy.” I think I’ll write that out and stick it to my wall! Thank you x
xxx